You may remember that going away for five weeks wasn’t the easiest thing for me in light of our son David’s diagnosis. But through friends and family’s love and provision (and Facetime), we did just great.
Speaking of my David:
He started chemotherapy. In fact, yesterday was his second treatment in a six-month, twelve-treatment plan. Next to God using this trial to drive David’s soul deeper into God’s heart, one of our biggest prayers is that David will have what it takes, by God’s grace, to start law school in the fall. As in all things, we’ll work our tails off and prepare… and submit to God. “As you wish, Abba,” I pray after I’ve poured out my heart and desires.
Though we’re just beginning this journey with David, overall I think the sadness of the situation - not despair or hopelessness, but very real sadness for me - is present, but not ruling. I cry quite a bit. I did in Israel, sitting at the Western Wall, in bed at night, sitting beside Herod’s palace wall outside the university. Now, for what it’s worth, at least I’m here at home when I cry.
While in Israel, God seemed pretty quiet. I sensed His presence here and there, but it wasn’t like times I’ve had where God speaks so clearly and decisively, or profoundly or amazingly, just tying it all together. You know how sometimes He gives deep understanding to some clumsy piece of your life?
“What’s that puzzle piece doing in my box? That doesn’t belong to this picture. It belongs somewhere else.” And God just makes it all so clear.
Not this time.
While away in this wonderful land where the pages of Scripture were crafted centuries ago, I came to realize there’s nothing magical about Israel. In a way, it’s as normal as London, Ontario. God is everywhere. God moves and speaks and transforms lives everywhere. I loved being there, for sure. It’s built into me and will be unpacked for you and for me as the years unfold. But you don’t have to go to Israel to have a “special” encounter with God.
But in my life, for this period of time, I really wanted some deep, spiritual insight. In prayer recently, I said, “I love God so much, and I know He loves me, but right now this love hurts.” It hurts.
Still, I’m so glad to be home and adapting to having David living with us for the summer while receiving treatment, and having Aaron and Rachel living in town (they bought a house nearby and are doing so well!), and of course, there’s my book that comes out this September 17th.
September 17th - YIKES!
So I, like you, am moving through the ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and sadness of life.
It is well with my soul.
I’m real because God is so real.